The roar of the crowd...

A little Sunday morning kvetching.

Church was a tad obnoxious this morning. Sunday Mass is like a carnival at my local parish. I know I'm at risk of sounding too protestant - as Don Marco would say - but "I" don't like going to Sunday Mass at my local parish. "I" don't like the way Mass is CELEBRATED there - I emphasize celebrated because that is what the get together seems to be all about - and only about - celebrating.

I'm not at all a dour, crabby, grumpy old man - except after I leave a Mass like that. I'm not kidding when I tell you it was a roar of people talking and laughing as they filed into Church, knocking kneelers down, waving to everyone, shouting across the Church their comments on what their friend is wearing - "Cute top!" Then the piano bar breaks into a chorus and Father hastens down the aisle with his entourage, only to get into the sanctuary to ask us all to sit down for a minute while he does his warm-up.

Where the hell does this come from? He acts like a talk show host, warming up the audience, asking where people are from, pointing out who has an anniversary, throwing in a joke here and there. Then the penitential rite begins. Oops! I forgot, after the entrance song, we all had to introduce ourselves - more roars and laughter - then the warm-up took place. (I looked at this old lady in front of me, she just shrugged her shoulders and we both laughed out loud.)

Everything settles down until the time for the Liturgy of the Word. It is then that the little kids are called forward to go elsewhere for their own liturgy of the word, with song and every one's hand raised in a sending forth prayer made up by the liturgist. (Where'd this come from?) Then the real Liturgy of the Word takes place. After that - until the sign of peace - everything is more or less normal. Then the sign of peace - which is chaos. (I forgot, some idiot's 3 year old little girl was wandering around the sanctuary looking at the flowers while Father was giving the homily.)

Before the final blessing, we have to sit down again and go through the up-with-people novelty thing again. This time, those who are new, going for surgery, celebrating birthdays-anniversaries, what have you, each and every individual with some need or event in his life is supposed to stand up. The rest of the congregation holds up their hands with outstretched arms to pray over these people, with another prayer in song - composed by the liturgist. (Schmaltz-o-rama!) After the final blessing, all hell breaks loose - it is like a riot after a sports event.

Some Sundays I walk out of Church and think, "What the hell was that?"

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Come on now - Celebrate!

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Celebrate good times,come on! (Let's celebrate)

Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)

There's a party goin' on right here

A celebration to last throughout the years

So bring your good times, and your laughter too

We gonna celebrate your party with you

Come on now

Celebration

Let's all celebrate and have a good time

Celebration

We gonna celebrate and have a good time

It's time to come together

It's up to you, what's your pleasure...

-Cool and the Gang.