Every New Year's Eve I do my psychic thing and lay out my predictions for the coming year. This is the first year I am publishing the predictions however, and I hope they get picked up by Spirit Daily and a few other webloids. My accuracy has been about 99% in the past. (Everyone around Minneapolis will remember how I accurately predicted the name of the new coadjutor archbishop to replace Harry Flynn. I also foretold how Cathy and Adoro would both find new jobs this past year. And don't overlook the fact I foretold how Our Word blogspot would makeover their website. So here goes with my forecast for 2008... drum roll please!)1) To start, what everyone is anxious to know, Hilary Clinton will indeed be elected the first female president of the U.S. and Obama will be the first black vice-president in history.
2) Oprah will be ordained as a minister and start her own Church where everyone just loves, eats, and prays.
3) The David Letterman Show will be cancelled because it is boring.
4) Elizabeth Taylor will pass away of natural causes.
5) Jon Lovitz will make a dramatic comeback reprising Ernest Borgnine's role in the 1950's film, Marty.
6) Madonna will return to the Catholic Church after visiting Lourdes (with her daughter Lourdes) for the 150th anniversary of the apparitions.
7) Many people will die throughout the world each day during 2008 - and only those closest to them will know about it.
8) Rosie O'Donnell will split up with her partner, and one of her children will write a tell-all book, similar to Mommie Dearest, and Rosie will play herself in the film.
9) The first arrests of bloggers on the grounds they committed hate crimes with their blog-postings will take place shortly after Hilary is elected president.
10) The situation in Pakistan will worsen when an as yet unknown man, with close ties to bin Laden, takes over the government in early summer.
11) The New Madrid fault will erupt near Memphis and swallow up Elvis' Graceland.
The rest is too horrible to reveal.
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