Sunday Mass.
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I attended early Mass this morning - but I will not tell you where and don't try to guess either.
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The parish has a deacon - I like deacons - especially when they wear dalmatics that match the priest's vestment - as they do there. The deacon acts with perfect decorum, and when he preaches, everything is good. He's very good. I appreciate married deacons very much.
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This morning the priest gave the homily. It also was good, he's very good. He's newly ordained. I remember once when I first met him and my coworker John and I - never mind.
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Anyway - he began Mass with an intro to the penitential rite mentioning the beautiful morning and directing our attention to God and what we were about to do. Forgive me for saying this but it seemed like an opening monologue one is accustomed to on television - Father was enthusiastic. He was very deliberate with pronunciation as well, adding much emphasis on various words of the prayer. He was connecting extremely well with the audience - err, congregation. Especially at the Eucharistic prayer. He's a good priest. Very sincere.
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So what's my point? Is something wrong with that, you ask? I'm not sure about training for priests, or exactly how it promotes presentation and communication skills with the assembly, but I know there is training for this. I know there is a big emphasis on engaging the assembly, inclusion and active participation - all of those buzz words. This morning Father got an A+ for his performance. Don't get me wrong - he said Mass prayerfully and devoutly and was yet able make eye contact with the worshippers. Nothing wrong with that, right?
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I don't know. It seems stagy to me - too much like a TV special, too much like a performance - too protestant. Some thing's off. Maybe it's just me. it could be that - I'll take the blame. I'll close my eyes or look down during Mass and try to participate recollectedly - oh right - I already do that. I'm going through the dark night maybe? Because I'm having a great deal of trouble with Sunday Mass extravaganzas. I've flat lined... I don't like watching the priest - and that is what one does when he is facing you. And you get distracted by how he looks, how he speaks, how he gestures: "Did he look at me just then? Remember when he was a seminarian and came in the store?" But wait a minute, wait a minute - Mass is so not supposed to be about the celebrant - right? (Maybe I'm wrong, so next time I'll wave back.) Seriously, it seems as if lately when I go to Mass, I fight and wrestle with these interior distractions, not to mention the stress and frustration I experience in trying to assist, to fully participate - and now it seems, just as soon as I receive Communion it is all over and Father is rattling off a litany of announcements.
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It is me, I know it. I'm an awful Catholic - I'm bad. I'm weak. I shouldn't say these things. It is my problem, why discuss it publicly? Perhaps, come fall, I will start going to St. Augustine's - the Extraordinary Form is celebrated there. I've come to the point where I think ad orientum is the way to go for Mass - I just do not need to make eye contact with the priest during the penitential rite or the Eucharistic prayer. I also think not ad-libbing or adding to the rite is better and more prayerful - it's more focused that way. I just don't know why priests have to add to the prayers of the Missal in the Ordinary Form - are the prayers wanting in some way?
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To be sure, I'm just grateful to be able to attend Mass at all, and to have so many churches to chose from. I pray for our priests and bishops.
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