God as Father.
"The holy Fathers consider even heroic deeds as acts of a hireling. They claim that the fear of suffering is the way of a slave, and that the desire for reward is the way of a hireling. But God wants us to come to him on the path of a son; motivated by love and zeal for his glory, we should conduct ourselves with honor and enjoy his saving presence in our hearts and souls." - The Way of A Pilgrim
I lived a great part of my life trying to please my dad. In nearly everything I did, I consciously or unconsciously sought his approval and favor. But most of all, I wanted to please him to avoid his wrath - his punishment when I displeased him. That was what I called "loving my dad". I never realized how much I tried to gain his approval until after he died. After he died, I understood my love had been subservient. That was a crisis for me.
Loving God cannot be the same way. I hope to love him for himself, because he is lovable in himself. Obviously I am not there yet.
