Just a few words from our sponsor.


Me.
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Facebook is too much. "Much too much" as Maggie Smith would say. People are getting emails from my site asking if they will be my friend. First of all, I never ask people to be my friend - or chase them down. Secondly, I haven't ever sent out an email like that - well maybe to Cathy in the beginning - but she knows I'm nuts. I think they have bots or something that read my address book and automatically send invites out. Don't get me wrong - I like having lots of friends - but I can't respond to all of this email stuff, I'm getting over 100 emails a day - from the blogs and Facebook, along with personal stuff. I don't even answer my phone or the door at home - really - I never even pick up my phone messages. I know! - I'm just weird like that. That's all.
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On a lighter note, some advice for people who suffer from chronic pain.

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I think I'm on to something here. If you don't have medical insurance or you are poor, or you just don't want to go to the Doctor but experience chronic pain, I have some remedies.
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1) Learn to love it. Accept it, offer it up and all of that, but thank God for it - seriously - thank him you can suffer something for him and for souls. I'm not kidding - it becomes so bearable that way - well not always - but often.


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2) Frequently at night I allow myself to think about it - I imagine I'm on pain killers, but awake, undergoing surgery. I imagine the doctor inserting a huge needle, say into my kidneys, to drain cysts, and I watch the tube fill up with a watery, bloody, liquid. It seems to me the pain then goes away. Well, not always - but I distract myself with watching the surgical procedure - I imagine little flecks in the drainage as well.


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3) I do the same thing with arthritis pain - I imagine the doctor poking me with painful needles in all of my joints, while he injects cortisone. The pain of the needles allows me to forget the other pain and to focus upon the relief the cortisone would cause. The pain is still there, but it doesn't hurt as much as those pretend needles.


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4) Chest pains and breathing difficulties. The best thing here is to offer it up, recall how much you enjoyed smoking, and tell yourself how much worse they would be if you still smoked. When that fails, I try to pretend I'm on narcotics - but I can never duplicate that euphoria!


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5) Frequent awakenings during the night due to male problems... I look on these things as opportunities to pray during the night... and the pain as a good penance. But I'm always so tired the next day.


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6) If all of these remedies fail, I remind myself to pray for a happy death.


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Look for future "advice and how to" posts. I'm thinking the next one will be, "How to stretch your food budget during a recession, huge inflation, and food shortages."
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[I'll be offline because I'm in California for a wedding. OH! C'MON! I'M JUST KIDDING!!! I needed an excuse to use the photo.]




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